Penguins Are People Too: An Essay in Pure Penguinology.

A guest authored edgy essay by Robert Whyte

Famous Australian scientist and tennis player compares penguins and humans, circa 1972.
A member of the Scottish National Antarctic Expedition plays the bagpipes for an indifferent Penguin, March 1904. Neither the piper nor the Penguin could possibly be genuine, as in March 1904 there were no Penguins anywhere near here, or anywhere else for that matter. WILLIAM SPEIRS BRUCE, DURING THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL ANTARCTIC EXPEDITION, 1902–04.
This is a Replicant, you silly person, not a Penguin.
Reptilian Penguin ancestor of the present day. Clearly Penguinesque and wearing a monocle, this Indian cobra is in fact a genetically modified Penguin. COMISSIONED BY MARY, LADY IMPEY (1749–1818) AND HER HUSBAND SIR ELIJAH





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Mr Nemo

Formerly Captain Nemo. A not-so-very-angry, but still unemployed, full-time philosopher-nobody.